I used to be mad at Jesus

Alafia, Greetings and Peace in the name of the Ivine King of kings, His Imperial Majesty Emperor Haile Selassie the First and His chosen Queen Empress Menen Asfaw. I also greet you in the true spirit of our creator who is known by many names and is the inspiration of great testimony. I, Ras Shamou Oladiípo will like to share with you a testimony of mines and maybe it can help you if need be. The title of this letter is a work in progress for many reasons, but lets start at my beginning in the this age of HIM (His Imperial Majesty Emperor Haile Selassie). Before I decided to bow before His Majesty, I grew up as a youth who was sent to church to develop a connection to the creator. The name that I learned the creator name through was Jesus. Everything that I did, when I gave thanks was to that name and that name alone. Even though in my earlier years, I was not as interested in church, disliked how much time it took up on Sundays 10 – 3pm (time of church, I used to attend), I couldn’t understand or relate to what was being taught and developed a level of anxiety and fear whenever someone caught the Holy Spirit and began shaking uncontrollably. There was still a beauty in it. For example, I remember when I made a vow to stop lying and I made that vow in that particular church, when I was in the 3rd grade. Also in that very same church, I played Jesus in a church play and sung on the choir. All these things I enjoyed and appreciated, for it was the beauty of my time at that church. My love for Jesus Christ grew extremely well through out the years since I was 8. My perception of spirituality was based off of my divine inheritance as a human being along with my adolescent characteristic of imagination and magic, and it grew with a progressive level of confidence. From what I remember, I was too scared to even question God and felt protected that there is a something greater than what I can physically see or behold and is watching over us. I remember staring out my window, focusing on the street light, which was the only light that illuminated the portion of the dark street my building was on and talking to God through it. It was also from these talks that I grew in my connection with the creator. It wasn’t until I graduated college that my conviction to return to God was needed. I had some fun in college, that other believers have taught me that God would not have approved of. I knew that what I was doing wrong but I wanted to live my life and have fun. I didn’t get too wild, for my love for God was stronger than my will to fulfill my sin. It was extremely strong, that when I walked down the altar to give my life to Christ, I cried in shame for running from HIM for so long. At this time in my life, I am in a different state and church from when I was 8. I was a student of the bible and read, read, and read. Then something happened, I began to see the failure in man but even more the failure in man that wear the cloth. The people who are preachers and servants of the Lord Jesus Christ. I began to see the shaming and traits of cult like behavior that Pastors were doing to people and I was victim to this. Some families were already struggling financially and were torn between paying rent and tithing because it was embedded in them, how can a man rob God? I saw people giving their last to fit the description of a good and faithful servant but was being mislead by the Shepherd, the speaker of the house. It was a crazy time, where people feared God more than they loved him and because of what I was witnessing, I began to back off from church because I began to see a common trend between the many churches that I attended or was a member of. The thing they had in common was dogma that brainwashed you into practicing faith but not in real-time, in others words living in imagination instead of reality.
Iyah Man!!
It was around this time that I began to sight Rastafari because it was a balance of faith and reality. Rastafari is what Iyesus Kristos say, “true worship in Spirit and Truth.” For in Spirit we have the Root of us all, God and the Truth in an actual descendant of King David which is the Spirit and Human connection of who Jah will choose to manifest in. As it is written in the Book of Psalms chapter 89. My spiritual connection with HIM and this truth has me convinced. As my activity in Rastafari increased, I began to wake up and see who I used to be in Christ and who I am in Christ now. My perception of God also began to change as well. It was through this transformation that I began to dislike the name of Jesus Christ but at the same time stay in Christ because Haile Selassie has a devout love for Christ. This exposed me to the name Iyesus Kristos, Jesus from an Ethiopian kulture. With the help of Haile Selassie I, I began to see that my romanticism of Jesus Christ, blinded I extremely and that so many people are blind as well. Caption says, “Women who don’t need nobody but Jesus” Big form of Romanticism I won’t delve so much into detail of what I mean but people are so wrapped up in the name that they miss the trick that is being done on them. Under its spell, I discriminated on people who didn’t accept Christ or didnt practice Christianity, even if it was family and used the scripture to affirm why I should. In my situation, the more people who were in Christ the more tithes the speaker of the house took to satisfy his sin. I began to think of my ancestors, which I have done since a child and read more and more history books and saw that at this name as well, many people died. I used to ask this million dollar question, “Why didn’t Jesus save us during the slave trade, and why did he allowed it to go on for 400+ years?” and “When is he gonna punish those that mistreat us?” I realize that my answer would only come in silence, leaving me to think more realistically. The more I changed my mindset, the more stuck I saw people. The trick of laziness, procrastination, bigotry, headiness all played them well while they spoke in tongues and called an imaginary figure their savior. I couldn’t find the right words to tell them to wake up and say, “he aint coming!!” or that, “Jesus isn’t physically gonna save you, and that you have to work and apply yourself” but because they were so under its spell, I couldn’t reach them. I began to dislike this name more and more. Then I learned something, my issue isn’t with the name Jesus but with the interpretation that I and so many others were given. For in actuality, I love Jesus, for the Jesus in the bible was a revolutionary and an awesome role model for anyone who wants to follow righteousness can learn from. For one, his own Father did not save him from death, and ideally we do what our parents taught us, so why would he save us from public humiliation and a crucifixion. God will remain silent on these matters, we ask for strength on how to solve our own issues, realizing that God is not going to come out the sky and beat every devil that did us wrong. Things like this used to fuel my anger but in actuality they need the Great Physician The Jesus that was given to us from certain Pastors who should not be leading a flock, these workers of evil, brainwash their congregation, molest and do all manners of wrong to them. These figures hold us back and they have too much control on the masses. Some of these Pastors deliver such an unrealistic opinion to a matter that is very much real, causing you to make the wrong decision can bring major consequences. The instilling of such a false sense of hope, that people filled with desperation and vulnerability have no other resource to give but their value in this hope, can be gold in the eyes of wolf. I pray that those who, like me, were taken advantage of. Our lack of knowledge of self to build our healthy self-esteem which leads us to the creator within, was preyed upon. There is a God, for the power that allowed me to see will allow someone else to see as well, and if they recieve it, they too will be transformed by the renewing of their mind. And because of this revelation, I’m not mad at Jesus anymore RasTafari love! We are all little Christ’s, always helping others, while others try to destroy us KNOW THYSELF!!!
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